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Index » Children & Teens » Child Abuse
 

Sexual Child Abuse--Most Frequently Asked Questions

 
Author: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
 

1. Is sexual child abuse increasing or is it being reported more?

Statistics on sexual child abuse are difficult to obtain for several reasons. Government statistics on neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse are lumped into one statistic. Studies conducted by Dianna Russell and David Finkelhor reveal 62%/girls; 31% boys are sexually abused by age 18. 47% of women report they forgot their abuse for short or long periods of time, therefore, the government statistics aren't including those survivors.

2. What are the main points every parent needs to know about sexual child abuse?

-Sexual child abuse is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power.

-It is violence that does not require force.

-Another is using the child, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required.

-Sexual abuse can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual, but do not involve him/her.

-Sexual abuse is both overt and covert.

3. We hear a lot about child abuse prevention, what makes your approach different than what we already know?

Prevention means BEFORE the fact. The prevention that is touted in society today is AFTER the fact. There are seven highly effective techniques, which are direct, focused and when used in sequence or independent will thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. One key strategy is allowing a child to discern who they are comfortable with"?rather than the parent, 'talking' the child into liking anyone or everyone"?including family members.

4. What age do you recommend children be taught how to protect themselves?--that seems like a lot of responsibility to place on a child.

The process needs to begin as soon as the child is born. Two parenting practices many parents use leaves the child vulnerable to being abused. If parents stopped these two practices at least 50% of all sexual child abuse could be prevented. The two parenting practices which leave children vulnerable are Hitting and Discounting the child's natural sense of people (6th sense). Between age 18 months and 3 years old, parents need to begin teaching the age appropriate the techniques. The parent never needs to tell the child about adults being BAD or that adults sexually abuse children.

5. You recommend parents practice and teach their child seven techniques to protect themselves. Are any more important than the other"?for example you talk about NO secrets from Mommy and Daddy? All the techniques are equally important. However, the techniques are taught age appropriate.

6. What are some of the myths about child sexual abuse?

-Sexual abuse won't happen in my family or neighborhood.

-The majority of children are abused by strangers.

-Some children are more sexual than others"?they want to be sexual. Therefore, they sexually entice men.

-If sexual relations between child and adult is culturally accepted, it doesn't cause any harm.

-Sex offenders are weird, deranged men lurking behind bushes and near schools.

-Children can say 'NO,' or Run away.

-My child knows all about "Stranger Danger,"? therefore she/he won't be abused.

-When boys have sex before age 18 with an adult, it is an early introduction to sex and doesn't cause any damage.

-Some children mature younger than others"?therefore having sex at a young age is an expression of their maturity.

-When boys have sex with an adult before age 18 is the boy's need to satisfy his sexual needs and doesn't cause any damage.

-When boys have sex with an adult before age 18, it is because the boy initiates the sexual act.

-When girls have sex with an adult before age 18, she has been seductive and 'chased' him--he couldn't resist.

 
 
 

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