With a screen name and the click of a mouse, bullies can extend the reach of their threats directly into the homes of their chosen victims. As long as a child is online, there is no safe haven from the insults and taunting that are an unfortunate part of the adolescent's behavior. And with no obvious physical signs of bullying, it is difficult to recognize an adolescent or teen who is being victimized by a cyberbully. Feeling embarrassed or fearing more harsh reprisals, those being victimized may also be more reluctant to reveal that they are being harassed, taunted and threatened. If your child appears angry, anxious or sad, after being online, if they quickly change the window displayed on the monitor when you walk in the room, if they have a sudden reluctance to go online, are making subtle comments about negative online communications, or become reluctant to go to school or meet with friends outside their home, your child may be the victim of a cyberbully. The challenge educators and parents face is breaking the link between the cyberbully and the child being victimized. Limiting a cyberbully's access through instant messaging programs may be a challenge for many of today's families. Standing over a child while they are at the computer is not a realistic expectation for most parents who are already crunched for time and it is certainly not something their child will want to tolerate. Removing an IM program from the computer is also little defense for most of today's computer savvy kids who can easily download a different IM program for free directly from the Internet. The easiest and simplest solution for parents may also be the most effective. Limiting the time their children spend instant messaging may reduce their exposure to negative behavior and help them to focus on more productive tasks. Tips for Instant Messaging Safety What Parents Can Do: Know what your kids are doing online and who they're chatting with via IM Have your kids go through their buddy list and tell you who they are and how they know them If your child is being harassed or threatened, save all the messages If you know the message sender, speak with the parents Contact your ISP or the IM software provider. Most have acceptable use policies against harassment Keep an eye out for signs of cyberbullying (change in patterns of computer use, a reluctance to go to school) Install time scheduling software on your child's computer to help regulate when they can IM, and discuss appropriate times for instant messaging Let your kids know that it's okay to come to you if they feel harassed or threatened Remind your kids that there are real people with real feelings on the other end of the messages and they need to behave as they would if they were face-to-face with the other person Tell them that they need to assume that there will be a permanent record of the messages they sendWhat You Can Teach Your Kids To Do For Themselves: Guard their screen name and ask them to not give it out to anyone they do not personally know If they are being harassed or threatened, ask them not to respond to the messages Help them block the bully from being able to Instant Message them Have them protect their password so their friends cannot sign on and send messages in their name Make sure they know to tell you or any responsible adult if they are being harassed or feel threatened |
