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Defensive Measures to be Taken by a Stalking Victim

 
Author: Amy Grech
 

It's important to have some understanding why and there are books on the subject, which could do better coverage than an article. Some recommended reading is Gavin De Becker's The Gift of Fear and Sanford Strong's Strong on Defense.

I know this information seems to apply to circumstances to include other than a stalker and it should. The stalker can be anyone, and not necessarily male either. Generally awareness of your immediate environment is sufficient to at least sense the intruder. Not all stalkers are violent, but the possibility must always be considered. Try to limit the amount of information about yourself made public.

This can be difficult since there are so many information services available out there. Companies that individuals work for are notorious about sharing your personal data with any employee, as if you belong to some sort of extended family. If possible just give slightly incorrect information whenever possible. Does everyone need to know where you live or that your Thursday nights are spent at the neighborhood bowling alley? Try "googling" yourself and see what comes up.

You could always get a private mailing box or a P.O. Box to receive mail. This could come in handy if you make purchases online. Be extra wary of your cable and phone bills, or any bill for that matter. These can be goldmines for stalkers, let alone identity thieves. Try to change your routes to and from work, gym, and house of worship or any other typical and predictable activity. Ideally the way back from something should be different from the way there.

When driving or walking go around an entire block, hitting all four corners to make a complete loop. There should be no reason to have someone behind you the whole time when doing so. If you're a pedestrian then get in the habit to walk against automotive traffic, while you're on the sidewalk of course. Don't make it any easier for someone to trail you by car. It's a common snatching technique. Whatever you do, never enter the kidnapper's car. Your chances of survival are pretty low, and even if you do you may wish you didn't.

A mugging is usually just about your wallet or purse. A kidnapping of any type is an entirely different animal. Fight, scream and run, don't even bother trying to reason with them or him. Don't expect any display of humanity. To them you may not really be viewed as human but more like prey, food or fun. Your instincts are a form of primitive logic able to cycle through data much faster than your conscious mind. Trust them, they usually know best about fight or flight situations. You ever turn around to see someone staring at you? You know they're looking but seemingly without thought you felt their presence. So be alert and keep your personal space around you. You move in this bubble and sometimes people have to get close to you, (i.e. the subway). Most times they don't need to be so close. You can study martial arts and consider yourself tough, but if you're sucker punched, it's all over.

What would you do if you were sitting at a park bench having a smoke and someone reached around and got you in a headlock from behind? Putting your cigarette out on their hand is a good start. Just displaying awareness can be an effective deterrent to many criminals. It's much easier to hunt unsuspecting prey. While you're at it don't bother being nice. You can be polite which is what society expects of us, but that's all. For someone to expect more than that is a bit presumptive. They deserve your scorn; this isn't about right or wrong but survival. You told the guy you don't have any change or that you're not interested in a date. Why should he expect any more from you.

Technology is your saving grace in situations such as these. Take a snapshot of the suspect and send it to someone. I installed peephole cameras before that were motion and/or other sensor activated. Then their face would be recorded, especially handy when you're not home. No substitute for good locks and a proper installation. I prefer any lock that requires a type of identity in the form of a credit card. This way you need to present this to a locksmith in order to have a key made. So if someone had your key, say you lent it to a contractor they would have a hard time getting a copy made. Few locksmiths are skilled enough to make copies of high security keys without the proper commercial data supplied: Code from a card, special cutting machine, authorized key blank, pinning series, and such, in a timely fashion or at all. See if you can break into your own home. If you can so can others, maybe even easier than you think.

For instance, enter the roof and climb down your fire escape. You want to make it so much of an obstacle that burglars besides stalkers will give-up and try someone else. You don't have to have an expensive alarm system installed. You could install one yourself that can dial you with details of an intrusion. Maybe show you pictures of the intruder on your cell phone or through a web browser you use at work. Might be a good way to keep an eye on the new nanny. I installed surveillance systems for stalking victims before where they found the intruder was actually the super or maintenance man of their building.

Remember to make sure you use secure settings when remotely connecting to any system. Otherwise someone else can easily watch you too. Major corporations make this mistake all the time, many of them believe in the concept of "security through obscurity." Many hackers pray for that. I knew someone who used to dial into a bank's video surveillance system just to see how big a line there was at her favorite lunch cart. When the alarm company installed the system she called them up and asked what brand they use. They told her and she called the manufacturer and they sent her a demo CD with a proprietary browser. They were very helpful. You can also have perimeter intrusion detection devices installed on your property, if for no other reason than to tell you if the raccoons are attacking the fish in your pond. By the way, don't forget man's (and woman's) best friend. Low tech but efficient and effective.

Whatever information you have, share it with the police. They are there to help you but they can't be everywhere. Usually they respond to an event. It's your job to prevent it. By giving such data to the police gives them the ability to successfully pursue a suspect. You gave them a "lead." You may not be the only one he is stalking. Doing so makes the life of a stalker that much harder. Now you can become the hunter.

 
 
 

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