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Index » Home Family & Garden » Parenting
 

What Does "Just Say No to Abuse" Mean?

 
Author: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
 

Children are taught to 'Just Say NO to Drugs," "Just Say No to sexual abuse, "Just Say No if a stranger asks you to do anything for any reason."

"Just Say No" can mean many things to each individual. But what does "Abuse" mean? Does "Abuse" mean we will stop hitting/ spanking/paddling children as a form of discipline, because to the child being hit/spanked/paddled is abuse?

Or does 'Just Say No to Abuse" mean we will enact more laws to protect only adults from physical abuse (a.k.a. battering or domestic violence)? Currently, every state has a law which states an adult hitting an adult is considered assault and battery. However, children are not protected by this same law. The most vulnerable, defenseless and trusting citizens in our country are not protected from assault and battery--all in the name of religion and allowing parents to raise their children as they choose. If we continue to abuse child society must deal with the aftermath one way or the other.

NO adult has the right to violate a child. Children are our greatest natural resource. Every child has the right to grow up and reach his/her greatest potential. As adults, it is our responsibility to protect children as they are the future of this world. We cannot afford to have these future leaders devoid of spiritual, mental, emotional and physical integrity.

Currently in twenty-two states teachers and other adults of authority are permitted to hit children with a wooden paddle for certain infractions in school. These infractions are left to the discretion of the adult in authority.

In 1997 Harvard Medical Center conducted a random telephone survey of families. Sixty-seven percent (67%) of the respondents stated they used hitting as physical discipline (physical abuse) with their child in the past week. Hitting a child in the guise of discipline is both a violation of the child's sacred body boundaries, and a violation of power.

Sexual abuse of children is the worst form of abuse. Not only is sexual child abuse, a sexual and physical violation, it is an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child, rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. Studies reveal 62% of girls and 31% of boys are sexually abused by age 18. Finkelhor, David and J. Dziuba-Leatherman, "Victimization of Children." American Psychologist Vol. 49:3 (1992): 173-183.

If "Just Say No to Abuse" means "NO" to any and all abusive behavior toward another human being, this concept then needs to be addressed on all levels of all relationships and all levels of society.

We are responsible for the outcome of our actions.

"Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it." -- Sartre

"We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for what we don't do." -- Voltaire

"The worst way you can choose is to choose no way at all." -- Friedrich II

"Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences." -- Caroline Myss

"Those who look the other way, are part of the problem." Dorothy M. Nedderpeyer, PhD

"Those who choose to remain in denial, are part of the problem." Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Unless, each person takes responsibility for the outcome of their actions abuse/domestic violence will continue to be an unresolved societal problem.

 
 
 

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