The Dark Bedroom
[1953" ?St. Paul, Minnesota] [St. Paul, Minnesota] It's hard to forget ones old home, or house, it was at 109 East Arch Street in St. Paul, Minnesota, it was: grandpa's house, mom and my brother Mike (my older brother by two-years: I was six then, perhaps six and a half years old), along with two aunts all lived there in the early 50s; an extended family type situation you could say. Anyhow, he, my brother was snoring away" ?(Mike) you could see into the living room through the open space of the door (I opened it a bit), the space heater was flickering with light" ?(fire) I could see it, hear it; it was where everyone was" ?everyone besides me and my brother" ?that is, everyone else in the household were in the living room. "Hush in there,"? Mother said, "...you boys go-on back to sleep now."? The black mantel clock was ticking, the door shut again, and the room went dark then Mike said, beside me: "Go to sleep" ?will you!"? pulling the covers over his head; therefore, I remained quiet; that is, quiet and restless, but by being quiet I could hear the voices in the living room, that is what I wanted in the first place, I just wanted company, but so be it if I couldn't have it; it was as if I could hear the dark, it stopped, and mother looked at me peeking through the opening of the door again" ?Grandpa was smoking his pipe as usual, sitting by the fire, socks on, the big black and white T.V. on; mother just bought it at the Emporium I think, or perhaps the Golden Rule, both big department stores; she bought them a few months preceding this evening. The dark went away, and mother looked at me again; Betty and Rose were watching the T.V., her sisters. Mom walked by my door again, smiled, walking to the kitchen, couldn't tell if the smile was for me" ?the smile" ?or something someone said in the living room; she had a lit cigarette, a chain smoker (she would smoke for forty-years then see me quite smoking, and she'd get on her hands and knees and ask the Lord to help her, and that would be that, no more smoking). "No."? Grandpa said, mother had asked a question. "Yes,"? Betty said. As mother walked by with two glasses of water, cigarette in her mouth she looked at me again. Then the dark came back, she had shut the door, kicked it I think. I could sense her presence standing and waiting outside the door; she was still outside I think, waiting for me to open it, I'm sure of it. I could hear her breathing, I think. Then I woke up, it was morning. |
