Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more than anything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficult it can be to turn the situation around.

Typical approaches include withdrawing from other people so that only those who are really interested in you will make the effort to get to know you. The other person takes on all the risk of rejection and you risk not having someone make the effort to approach you.

Emotionally what you really want is for the other person to like you or to approve of you as you are. In effect you project wanting approval and that is what you get - more wanting approval! This is because what you give out comes back to you in this world. However there is a better way!

It is possible to let go of wanting approval if you know the right questions to ask yourself, then you will be able to release the neediness and instead feel your own approval of yourself which then causes others to reflect that acceptance back to you.

Ask yourself, which would I rather have, wanting approval or having approval? Ask this question again and again even for up to ten minutes at a time and you will find that your feelings shift and you will feel better about yourself and less attached to getting approval from other people.

Test this for yourself when you are alone as well as when you are with other people. I find that my breathing changes and I start to feel more at peace within minutes when I use this approach. Enjoy!