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Index » Self Help » Grief & Loss
 

Threads of Life - the Inevitability of Loss

 
Author: Evan Lyn
 

Everyones life is like a thread. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. Some threads are short, and others are very long. But all of them do end. No thread on this earth goes on forever. A person is born, lives for a time, and then dies.

And I believe relationships are the same because relationships are made of people. Every relationship is like two threads which fate brings together. They intertwine for a while, and then separate.

And they will separate. Everyone you love, will one day leave you. One day, they may stop loving you and leave you. Or one day you may stop loving them, and you will leave. But even if you both love each other and stay together, one day your loved one will die or you will die. It doesnt matter if they are your father or mother, sister or brother, friend or lover, son or daughter. One day, there will be an accident, or an earthquake, or cancer, or it will just be time to go. One day, the person you love will be gone. Or you will be gone. And you know this is true. Everyone knows this is true, somewhere inside their hearts.

But maybe you dont want this to be true. You want your life and your love to be different. Maybe you want the people you love, or the people who love you, to stay with you and live forever. You dont want to believe or accept that one day, they will be gone. You dont want to think about the endings before they come. Because maybe, inside your heart, you hope. You hope that for you or the ones you love, the ending might not come.

And so you hold on. As the ones you love are leaving you or dying, you hold on to hope. You hope that they will come back to you, or that they will stay with you for just another while. You hope that the ending will not come. And because you hold on, you suffer. Because you hope, you suffer. And you suffer because you are holding onto something which is almost gone, or already gone. Sometimes your own hope prevents you from seeing the truth.

If your friend moves to a different city, or your child grows up and moves out of the house, does that mean you stop loving them? The person may be gone, but your love for them still lives inside your heart if you let it. Anyone you have ever loved, has helped you become the person you are today. They brought you memories. They gave you joy and love, and perhaps sadness and tears as well. They showed you about life, whether they knew it or not. And because of all these things, they helped you grow, whether you know it or not. If you had never met that person, your life and yourself would have been less than it is. So if you have ever truly loved, then you have received even if they didnt really love you back. Because you loved, you lived, and your heart grew. This is how I believe love lives - if someone you love leaves you or dies, a part of them still stays inside of you.

So dont hold on to the person, who has to go. But you can hold on to the love, the love that stays inside your heart for as long as you live. Let go of the person, but keep the love. When a movie ends, you leave the theater. When a book ends, you put it down. But even though the story ends, it stays inside your heart to become a part of you.

It is hard to let go. To let go of the ones you love. To say good-bye. But behind every hello, there will be a good-bye; behind every holding on, there will have to be a letting go. And it will be easier if you remember that the threads will separate, that your story together will end. And it will probably end in a manner not of your own choosing, and at a time that you cannot foresee. Maybe that time will come in 50 years or maybe it will come tomorrow. Remember every day, that the end will come. Because I believe that if you do remember every day, you will learn how to better cherish every day the people you love in your life. Remembering will teach you how to love. Remember every day, that the person you love will die, and that you will also die and you will live and love better. Know death every day, in order to live life every day. Because I believe if you do remember every day, you will not be a person who doesnt know what they had until they lost it. Remembering every day what you can lose, and you will know every day how much you really have. Life is more beautiful and precious when you know you will die. A person is born, lives for a time, and then dies. Just like a flower.

 
 
 

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