Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 26, 2002

Recently my father passed away. My problem is he never filed a will through the court, but he did have a holographic will, which is an unwitnessed, handwritten will. That will popped out of nowhere.

My father owned a nice middle-class home. My younger sister wanted his home because it is a lot more spacious than her own. I personally did not mind. For my share in dad's home my sister promised me a paid and clear title and her home would be mine.

One day she picked me up, and we went to an attorney so I could sign a paper giving her my father's home. I asked where my title was, paid full and clear. She said not to worry, she would bring it next week for sure.

I believed her. After all she is blood. Now I know it was all a setup, and my sister took advantage of me. She never signed over her home free and clear. To top it off, my uncle was the executor of the will, and he knew what my sister was up to.

I am suing my sister to get my half, but all my lawyer has gotten so far is junk like pots, pans and bowls with no value. I feel bad going to this extreme, but she has taken advantage of me and disobeyed my father's wishes.

Marjorie

Marjorie, blood does not denote character. Blood only carries value when there is love, character and sharing.

This can't be the first time your sister has pulled something on you. It is likely she's done a myriad of smaller things over the years. Each time she was careful to put enough distance between events to make you susceptible again.

Your uncle and your sister are two of a kind. It's not that you have blood in common, it is that they have larceny in common. They look at blood as something to take advantage of, something to use and abuse. You can find total strangers you are more connected to than those two.

As long as there is a reasonable chance of success, don't let them walk away laughing. Even if most of what you recover goes to pay lawyer's fees, that is better than failing to defend yourself. In the future, remember you are not dealing with family, you are dealing with thieves who stole your father's final gift.

Wayne and Tamara

Eye Candy

I am a guy, 21. Recently I've been talking online to a married woman. She seems to like talking to me because she seeks a kind of love her husband cannot give her. During a family vacation, she actually stopped at a gas station here and phoned a radio station requesting a love song for me, while her husband was inside the gas station.

Another married woman incident occurred last summer. One night out on the lake with her family and my folks, a woman commented I would look good in Speedos. Then yesterday I was playing basketball in my front yard, and our neighbor walked by as I was shooting hoops. She took it upon herself to water her roses and glance at me.

Why is this happening? What do these married women see in me, and what do they want from me?

Shep

Shep, an iris, an orchid and a rose don't try to give us pleasure, they are just being themselves. Yet each of these flowers appeals to different people in varying amounts.

You have qualities which appeal to these women. For some it could be your height, your athleticism, or your personality. For others it may simply be the twinkle in your eye or the resemblance to an old beau. Their attraction to you begins and ends within them.

You clearly stated you know they are married. There is no need or advantage for you to encourage them.

Tamara