Las Vegas is Spanish for "The Meadows." What a joke! One is hard-pressed to find a meadow in this desert town. I have lived here for almost two years. I realize this is not the most significant amount of time to render me an expert on the subject, but lets pretend that I am.

Las Vegas is one of those places that you either love or hate. There really isn't a gray area with anything here now that I think about it. The weather is either hot or cold. The air is either still or there is a 90-mile per hour gale. The lights are either on or off.

I rolled into town on a hot, summer night, a sheltered Southern daughter. Is there anyone who would not be dazzled by the bright lights and big city? It is wildly amazing upon first sight. This awe lasts for just about a month. After said time, the newness begins to wear off and one becomes desensitized to the dazzle. I'm sure there is not much more red tape to untangle in Las Vegas compared to anywhere else; however, it is like a different planet to someone standing up for the first time. You can't even get a library card if you don't have a Nevada driver's license first. If one has an interest beyond drinking, gambling, eating, and clubbing, you will be hard-pressed to find advertisements for activities that suit your fancy. I am quite sure there are other so-called experts who would tell you that Las Vegas is bubbling over with resources. Being the introverted expert that I claim to be, I say there may be resources, but the advertising is lacking.

Las Vegas lies in a valley that is 30 miles across filled with 1.7 million people. On average, six thousand people move into this valley every month. Unfortunately, they leave their small-town kindness and hospitality behind. The streets are a war-zone and the tanks aren't bulletproof. Without looking up statistics like a real expert should, I would say that the percentage of drunk drivers in Las Vegas is higher than the average. I have seen many people who had no business driving walk out the door and climb behind the wheel. Perhaps this is less than shocking, but I come from a town where it is commonplace to drive through a police checkpoint screening for drunk drivers. There is a resident evil present in this place; hence the "sin city" moniker. As I said before, everyone left their manners back home and the natives never had any. I know it's unfair to generalize, but the attitude of the town is so far beyond what a Southern girl is used to. I learned fast to keep my mouth shut. Still, I have had a couple of close encounters where I felt that my bodily well-being might be in danger. Las Vegas is overrated.

Enter the tourons; I mean tourists. Maybe they are not as stupid as they look...at least they don't live here. Las Vegas, probably more so than other tourist towns, exists only to separate fools from their money. Utilizing the aforementioned tools: drinking, gambling, food, and clubs all powered by status. Of course you had a great time on your vacation in Las Vegas! EVERYTHING here revolves around the tourist and the revenue generated by their exploit. While you are losing it all at the roulette table, slot machine, or poker table, the rich are made richer, more self-centered, and more Sin City like. It is a vicious cycle!

Below you will find 10 tips for a better Las Vegas vacation:

1. Stay in an off-strip hotel. Some may tell you that you will miss something by doing so, but I beg to differ. First of all, off-strip hotels do not lack anything that you would find elsewhere except maybe less of a crowd. Secondly, you will get a taste of local flavor. Finally, you will save a little money on lodging costs, a ride to the strip is minutes away, and for a few dollars you can get a day pass for your transportation.

2. Get half price show tickets. There are at least two venues that I know of where you can purchase tickets for half price if you are willing to attend a same day showing.

3. Grab a What's On magazine. What's On has listings for several free activities to do in Las Vegas in addition to being an informative guide for just about everything.

4. Take a tour. There are numerous agencies that offer a variety of interesting tours at fairly reasonable prices.

5. Visit Downtown Las Vegas. For around a buck seventy-five, you can grab a couple of different options for transport downtown from The Strip. If you're a history buff, you'll love the neon light museum. The gambling is a little cheaper downtown as well.

6. Don't pay too much for souvenirs. Hit a local Wal*Mart or other discount store for the small stuff. They have a decent selection of small trinkets and postcards for fractions of what you will pay at a casino shop.

7. Join slot clubs. Even if you don't plan to gamble, sometimes you can get free dice, playing cards, t-shirts, meals, etc. just for signing up. It's free! Not to mention, the card itself and its accompanying bungee are great souvenirs in their own right. Also the cards are usually good for more than one casino.

8. Get a tan. The Las Vegas sun is potent, so bring your sunscreen. If you visit in the summer, make time to take a swim. You will go home with a great tan.

9. Take advantage of the photo opportunities. Las Vegas is certainly a sight to see and you definitely won't regret taking advantage of all the great photo ops. It's worth your ten bucks for a trip to the top of the Stratosphere Tower for pictures...maybe even twice: once during the day and once at night. A picture is worth a thousand words.

10. Go someplace else. Pick a different destination, and you will probably have twice the fun for half the price because Las Vegas is overrated.